Ramblings of a Quarter-Life Crisis

This ticker has been blinking incessantly in my face for the last hour. I'm not sure how this happened but I have writer's block. Yes, I Lauren Thompson have writer's block, hence the reason I haven't written a blog since December!

I don't get writers block. Anyone that knows me will certainly attest to the fact that I do not have issues formulating and expressing opinions, conversations, ideas and the like. Even more mind boggling is that fact that I just spent 4 days immersed in God among 22,000 other young adults at the Passion Conference in Atlanta. Yet... I got nothing.

So here comes the babbling. At this point I just have to write something in hopes that this will turn out to be more than a rambling of my thoughts.

Here's what's on my mind. The number 25. On Sunday I'll be 25 years old. Hey! Maybe writer's block comes as part of a quarter-life crisis. Okay Okay...drama queen, I know. In real life I'm not having a crisis of any kind but I'm just not sure I'm ready to face the reality that I am turning a quarter of a century. Those of you reading this that are older than me are currently rolling your eyes and laughing-- that's fine, but I am aloud to be a bit freaked out about this thank you very much.

As the day approaches I've been, as most people do, sort of reflecting on the last few years of my life. Anyone who knew me 4 or 5 years ago will tell you I am a completely different person. Almost unrecognizable. This transformation of mine has been on my mind particularly as I've been reading about the transformation of Paul's life in Acts 9.

If you don't know anything about Paul, he was one of the most prevalent followers and missionaries in the Bible (he wrote most of the New Testament) but a more interesting, less known fact about Paul is that he was once a total jerk. The old Paul (aka Saul) was a very mean man and when it came to what he called "followers of The Way", he hated them with a passion. Talk about prejudice, this guy takes the cake. He would have believers threatened, murdered and even got the government to sign off for him to go capture and imprison them.

Crazy right?! This guy who hated God and people who loved God ended up being one of the most historic representatives for Him. He spread the stories of Jesus not only across the Middle East during his life but left a legacy in his writing of the Gospels and letters that millions read everyday in the Bible.

Mind you, Saul didn't just one day decide he wanted to be a "better person". It took God blinding him (literally taking his sight!) for him to stop persecuting Christ followers and turn his life around. The Bible says something like "scales" fell from his eyes when God granted his sight again. I think that's what happened to me. I think I was blinded and arrogant and selfish. Just living for what I wanted and not caring about what God thought. I made bad decisions and was definitely a jerk. And though I wasn't blinded physically, I was certainly blind to the plans and wonderful joy God had for me. I refused to acknowledge Him.

The story goes on to say that God called this guy Ananius to go and heal Saul. God told him,
"Go, I have CHOSEN Paul to carry my name to the ends of the earth."

That word chosen hit me hard. God chose the meanest of the mean, the jerk of all jerks, to tell the world about Jesus. And don't get it twisted, Paul's life was not easy after he turned to God, he got his fair share of torture and persecution in the name of Jesus but he endured. He was a new man. He was forgiven. He went from torturer of believers to tortured for believing. His life becomes proof that God can take a Pharisee hell-bent on destroying people's lives and use him to restore lives as a global missionary.

I think God did the same thing in me. Chose a selfish, materialistic, unkind girl and turned her into a forgiven, still imperfect, passionate seminary student, writer, and mentor for His name. Once a slave to the worldly junk, now a princess to the King of Kings. From a bad example, to a life of leadership. From selfish girl to Godly woman. A life of fear is now a life of faith. I am truely transformed.

God can take completely disastrous situations or lives and transform them. No matter what depths of depravity or corruption we have descended into, our journeys can be interrupted completely changed just like that; in His time and according to His will.

I would love for people to be reading my life stories and reflections of God centuries from now like Paul. But if I'm gonna spread Jesus' life and love like Paul did, I better get to writing and living! Forget writer's block, I'll shout the Glory of His transforming power and love from the rooftops if I have to.

So happy birthday to me. 25 years down...Eternity to go.