Running from grace

Lately I've been thinking about Jonah. I can't help but feel like I relate to the guy. I think most of us at one point or another, find ourselves running from or ignoring God when He asks us to do something hard.

I hate to say it, but we are so much like Jonah. For one the guy was a selfish idiot. I mean basically all of his decisions and actions stem from self-serving intentions.

Uh, hi my name is Lauren. I'm a human and I'm addicted to myself.

More often than not we base our decisions on what’s in it for numero uno. We love ourselves. We love when people, things, and life rewards or benefits us. I spent my late teen/early twenties doing just that--living for me and running from God. Jonah and I would've been close I'm sure.

It’s probably safe to say many of you know the elementary version of “Jonah and the Whale”. There's a lot more to this story though. To sum up what you already know; when Jonah chose to not follow through with God’s request, he got on a boat and did the opposite. Not surprisingly he finds himself getting thrown into the ocean during a storm (pretty sure he should’ve died) and then is swallowed by a large fish (yep, definitely should have died on that one), only to be regurgitated not digested.

The fish was Jonah’s grace. He deserved death in his selfish disobedience but in his apologetic sorrow God’s grace saved him. This is where the story typically gets that sort of “happily ever after” stamp on it. Jonah says his sorry, God forgives and saves him. Jonah obeys God by going to Nineveh… Yay! The end.

Well, not quite. Yes, Jonah does follow through and go to Nineveh to warn the people of their destructive lives like God originally asked. However, the twist comes when they are remorseful. They pray and ask for forgiveness and show genuine change, so God chooses to forgive them instead of destroy them.

…and Jonah decides to get mad. Check this temper tantrum out:

“This change of plans greatly upset Jonah, and he became very angry. So he complained to the Lord about it: ‘Didn’t I say before I left home that you would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that you are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people. Just kill me now, Lord! I’d rather be dead than alive if what I predicted will not happen.’” (Jonah 4:1-3 NLT)

It’s crazy to me that this part gets left out so much! God saves and forgives Jonah, yet he gets pissed that God forgives a city of people. For a guy who, by the grace of a whale’s digestive system, was just saved from death, this reaction seems absolutely bizarre. I mean the guy says, “Just kill me now.” Um, drama king much?
Let’s continue though, it’s about to get interesting. After expressing his (ridiculous) anger, Jonah goes off to literally “sulk” under a tree. Now here’s my reminder of how undeserving I am and how good God is. The Bible says God extends the vines to offer shade for Jonah.

Grace at its finest.

That’s the character of who God is. Even in our pity party moments or anger, he offers shade. He is there intentionally caring for us. It’s a concept I struggle to grasp. When I don’t understand what God is doing, and decide to make it all about me, why would he still be there loving and caring for me?

Believe it or not the story isn’t over just yet—I told you this story is more than just the big fish part. In fact, this is the most important part.

After Jonah sat in the shade for a while God began to wither up the tree. Obviously Jonah became uncomfortable because of the hot sun. Again he cops an attitude with God about taking away his shade. Besides the fact that he was a total brat in that moment, Jonah’s character offers something we can all relate to; a sense of entitlement. The idea that we deserve good or pleasurable things in this life—yet in reality we deserved to die in the ocean when we were running from God in the first place.

God’s grace after grace after grace in our lives can often go unrecognized when we let fear or selfishness get in the way. When we don’t understand the scenarios being played out in our lives, we begin to let our egos overwhelm the reality of who God is. God wasn’t being “mean” in taking back the shade from Jonah; he was telling him it was time to move on. God gave him time to be upset. He even provided means for him to sulk comfortably!

Recently, that’s where I found myself; under the shade tree, angry at the way He had played things out. Funny thing is, he let me. I felt like He was there and okay with my grumpy attitude. That is until about a week ago. I had a series of very unfortunate events happen that led to the fault of no one but my own. Yet I found myself yelling at God in a fit of upset only to realize that he didn’t do anything at all…besides love me in spite of my self-centered behavior.

That’s the character of God’s grace. It’s so immense it stretches to cover us even in our moments of self-pity but it doesn’t want us to stay there. God wants us to move forward. We can either choose to embrace change and trust God or add it to the “reasons life is unfair, I wish I was dead” list.

When life gets uncomfortable after a season of disappointment, it’s probably because God’s done offering shade. A large part of faith is trusting that the next season of life will be better than the last. Even if it isn’t, you can be confident that God will offer you grace when you don’t deserve it, protection when you need it the most, understanding when your emotions get the best of you and the push to look beyond yourself and trust His plans for the future. What I’ve realized is, God gets us uncomfortable sometimes in order to move us forward. It was no longer okay for me to not be okay, but I didn’t want to do anything about it—so God did.

Whether you’re running from God, sitting in the fish, pouting in the shade, or beginning to feel the burn of the sun—remember the grace that keeps you alive, the forgiveness that is so unwarranted and the future that is filled with promise. Let go of you and give into grace.

He > Me.