When Faith Doesn't Pay the Rent

This whole faith thing isn’t as simple as some people like to play it off. It’s not this, ‘Just believe. Walk by faith not by sight. Faith, hope, and love’ cliché thought process. You can’t put it on your wall or quote it and claim that you have it. It’s so much more complex and difficult than that.

That’s all head game to me. We say things, repeat them, make them our mantra’s but they don’t often sink to heart. I have seen this in my own life, even recently. I can tell my faith needs a heart check when tough times are persistent and my faith is overcome by fear, doubt and anxiety. My desire to control kicks in and I begin to look in every direction for help. I even seem to pray this oh-so-faithless sort of way, “Oh Lord, you have to help me. I don’t know where to turn or what to do. What am I doing wrong? Why is this happening? Why aren’t you helping me?”  

Faith gets fuzzy when I face stormy weather. Life has not been easy, fun, or kind lately. It’s been really rough. So I can’t help but step back and look at faith from a different perspective. What does faith look like for me? What is the point? It’s easy for me to say I have faith in God or I believe God is good or God is faithful—but what about when it’s rough? Not so easy. Those statements can sometimes transform into, “I believe but my faith doesn’t write my rent check due tomorrow.” This attitude isn’t ideal in view of who God is but if we’re being honest, most of us have or do feel this way.

As my faith has been in limbo, I decided to re-read a story of faith in Matthew 14. The reason it came to mind is there are two statements by Jesus in the story that I can’t forget, “Take courage. I am here” and “You have so little faith; why did you doubt me?”  In my life, these statements are a need and a truth.  

Looking further into the story I noticed a few things. The first is that Jesus sends the disciples out so that he can be alone to pray. Weather turned south and the disciples faced heavy waves. Jesus saw they were in trouble from land. Note to self- Jesus sees my trouble. He knows that he has sent me into rough waters.

Mark’s telling of the story says “He saw that they were in serious trouble, rowing hard and struggling.”  He walks out into the storm after seeing this. My thought is, why didn’t he just calm the storm and save them? Why walk out into a storm? He certainly could have helped them from land. I kept reading, “Jesus came towards them, walking on water. He intended to go past them…”

I stopped reading. Uh, what? Why would Jesus plan to pass by the boat after seeing from shore they needed help?  This puzzled me. So, I did what any girl would do, I called my dad. Okay, maybe not every girl would do this but my dad is always helpful when it comes to Biblical truths; I'd contest even better than Google. He pointed out the running theme for this story – where should our focus be in hard times?

The Bible answer is Jesus (the Bible answer in this case, is the true answer not just the cliché one). If the disciples didn’t look up long enough to notice that Jesus was there in the midst of their trouble—they would’ve missed him all together. They had to get their eyes off the storm long enough to see that He was in it with them. 

They did notice him, but were afraid and in disbelief. The Bible says they thought it was a ghost. That’s often our response to God when he shows up in the storm but doesn’t calm it. When we can’t understand or identify what Jesus is doing in the midst of distress, we turn to fear or doubt. It is very difficult for us to see God for who he really is when we find ourselves in the middle of a storm. We get distracted by the wind, the rockiness of the boat, the sickness in the pit of our stomach, the cold, and the panic. We don’t trust he is really there because he isn’t acting like we think he should. A ghost would walk on water in a storm—Jesus would make the storm stop; at least that’s what the disciples believed of him.  In the same way, when the storm keeps raging, we don’t look for help but don't look up and sometimes we miss Jesus.

They did look up though and even in their disbelieving panic, Jesus responds, “Take courage, I am here.” He didn’t raise his arms and call the sun to emerge or cause the skies to thunder and clear before their eyes. The conditions stayed the same. He stands with them in the storm and says, ‘I got you. Do you trust me?’

And this is where I can most relate to the story. Good ole’ Peter decides to speak up, saying “if it’s really you, tell me to come to you.”  Peter responds to his feeling of doubt with a challenge for Jesus. Prove it, he says. Difficulty causes us to challenge our faith, to question who God really is. What we see with Peter though is, he wasn’t testing God—he was testing himself and he fails miserably. Within seconds of feeling the water at the soles of his feet,  swaying in the heavy winds and standing on unsteady waters, Peter’s fear, doubt, and inabilities get the best of him. He begins to sink. His focus goes from Jesus to surroundings and just like that he fails the test of faith.

Our problem is we are easily distracted. The waves, wind, and storminess around us cause our eyes to dart from fear to worry--worry to doubt--doubt to abilities--abilities to control. Peter began to sink when he stopped believing that Jesus could keep him afloat. He desired to control the situation himself.

His eyes darted every which way, focusing on how to step instead of who called him to take it. Jesus told Peter to come towards him, the mistake is Peter tried to rely on himself to get there. We can't row the boat in rough water by ourselves--we won't get anywhere. 

Faith isn’t something we can do on our own. It’s recognizing the One who is standing with us in the storm. It is accepting that he can calm it at any moment. Relying on who we know him to be. He isn’t a God who lets us sink—even in the challenge to trust him. He is the rescuer when we turn away and begin to sink. He is a God who calls us to take courage with him on the stormy sea. You can move forward on the most unsteady of grounds. He is the God who doesn't want us to focus on fear and trouble that consume our lives but to look up and recognize that he is still there. He is still saving. He is still protecting. He is working, even when we don’t understand or recognize him. 

Trust His control. He's got you.