Friday, March 09, 2012

Dr. Doo-Lauren?


The melody of the music filled my ears. Breathing in deep, it was as if my lungs were inhaling peace. My knees pulled up to my chest, I rested my chin on them. I watched as the steam danced about in the air as it arose from my morning oatmeal. Subtly, like a backup choir, crickets chirped. Various bird whistles and tweets pined in between melodies.

I closed my eyes. Looking into the blackness, I questioned God, "who am I to you?" I pressed further explaining a need for peace in my heart, one that overwhelms my head full of doubts, questions and fear.

When I opened them I noticed a bee circling about. And watched as it landed on a yellow flower, working hard to collect pollen. When it finally flew away I realized the distraction of the bee had cleared ticker of questions running through my mind. Like a freshly erased chalk board, I found my mind peacefully blank.

A smile stretched across my face. "Clever", I thought. Thanking him, I was still smiling at the thought of how quickly God works and before the thought was finished, trotting across the lawn in front of me, a wild turkey seemed unphased wandering to its destination. Again, I sort of laughed.

Thinking back to a few days earlier, on a run I was stopped in my tracks when I noticed three large cows (or bulls? I duno, they had long horns), standing nonchalantly along the lake in my residential neighborhood. Going back even further, as I sketched at my favorite spot on a lake, an alligator joined me, its eyes peering in my direction. And who could forget Henry the spider, the "Charlotte" of my life.

I suppose you may be thinking I'm going to tell you I have some sort of Dr. Doolittle thing happening, not quite (though for a moment it crossed my mind).  My odd encounters with these random creatures have brought to my mind a verse out of Matthew which says "What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows." (10:29-31 NLT)

I recently came across this verse used in a study for one of my classes. It has stuck me, that idea; not a single sparrow can fall to ground without God knowing it. Don't be afraid, you are valued.

Fear is something ever present in most of our lives. It's power certainly consumes me, bringing the unfortunate side effect of giving up on or losing heart in myself. For me, my Dr Doolittle experiences are actually God trying to deepen a truth in my heart. The truth that despite my fears, my life is in his hands. And like a baby bird can fall from its nest, I will stumble or fall in my life--but is the fear of the fall worth giving up the opportunity to fly?

These animals are simply a reminder to me that though they may be a random turkey or a wandering bull, they matter to God. He created them just like he created me. The major difference is I have the opportunity to actually impact lives. To fearlessly step beyond what is comfortable and do something challenging. By allowing life's questions or hardships be at the forefront of my brain, I am essentially laying bricks one by one by one, encasing myself in the fear of the unknown. It leaves an unsettled mind, closed off heart, and unsatisfied soul.

As simply at the sparrow left the nest only to soar, faith takes one uncomfortable leap before flying into freedom. My very special and lovely friend sent me this the other day, "Faith can do it. We have to go with our dreams despite all the 'what if's' and doubt from the enemy. When we make our step God shows up."

So, if today you are feeling like just a face in a crowd or wondering if you really matter in this world or in need of encouragement. I hope you will find some encouragement in the fact that your future is in already taken care of! Eccl 6:9-10 & Eccl 11:3-6 Jeremiah 12:3-5, Matt 6:25-27, Philippians 4:6-8



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